I'm a lousy criminal.
I just can't seem to do anything wrong and still look normal.
Trust me, I've tried.
So, I was in Barnes and Noble the other day.
They had this nice big display in the center of the children's books area: New Arrivals.
Greetings from Nowhere was not there.
So I look on the regular shelves and they had several copies.
I glance around, then scoop up the copies, intent on putting them on the New Arrivals display table.
I round the corner of the shelves and there is a beady-eyed store clerk.
Me: Tra la la (whistle, whistle)
Beady-eyed Store Clerk: Can I help you?
Me: Who, me? Um. No, thank you.
Beady-eyed Store Clerk: [narrows eyes, purses lips]
Me: [pretends to look at picture books while clutching four copies of Greetings from Nowhere and turning abnormally red]
Finally, Beady-eyed Store Clerk leaves.
I plop my books onto the New Arrivals display table and hightail it out of there.
Note to Clyde: If you need a Bonnie, I'm not your gal.