Okay, I just couldn't resist a few more. These are the last, I promise:
"You must hate the mailman for giving you your rough draft back with red marks all over it from your editor."
"I just do not know how you can stand seeing red marks on your papers. Seeing red marks makes me feel sick."
"Yesterday after school, I went to the library and checked out one of your books on Eleanor Roosevelt." [um, I've never written a book about Eleanor Roosevelt]
"Thank you for sharing your writing techniques with us. My technique is to stare at trees."
"I like your books. I don't want to be a writer when I grow up."
[After one of my writing workshops] "We all now know that we can make a story better by using 'show, don't tell' and by not using words that end in y."