Some blog readers have given me good suggestions (especially Kirby Larson, who told me to switch to beer).
One person got me to this message board where I see I am not alone in my outrage. I wrote a few scathing letters. I'm sure that will do the trick.
But in the meantime, I took another suggestion and hit the local Job Lot.
They had Extra Caffeinated Santa's Breakfast Buzz:
They had Fudge Brownie Coffee:
They had Nutt'n But Kisses Valentine Coffee Collection:
And they had Sumatran Vanilla Latte:
But, alas, no Cafe Francais with a blue label.
So I went to a few grocery stores.
Nope, only the NEW AND IMPROVED:
They had Pampa Instant Coffee: